Grown up fotos

My colleague Kelly Mangel - who moonlights as a photographer - took on me, an unlikely photo subject in Charley, Bentley (the world's most interesting dog who can't be bothered with such frivolity), and Maggie (One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest) for our first group professional photographs.  Below are our personal favorites.

If you're seeking a North Texas photographer, I highly recommend Kelly.  She's not only a dedicated educator, but is utterly pleasant to work with - especially if you're cameraphobe as is Charley (and me, secretly).

Kelly's Likable Facebook Page

Crayons On The Ground

That phrase reminds me of the "pants on the ground" diddy that ear wormed its way into our pop culture mental library a few years back.  "Crayons on the ground" has significant meaning to me ever since I dumped a Costco sized container of Crayola crayons into each classroom group station's supply basket.  If you know my tendency at work to keep a near-negative balance showing in my email inbox, as much desk surface space visible as possible in my planning area, and stay in strict accordance with the fire marshal's code of less than a particular percentage of flammable substance on the classroom walls, then you know just how absolutely bonkers this pushes me.  It's a short trip for me, but still.  But it's not merely crayons on the ground.  It's snapped, peeled, shredded, pelted, catapulted, and bombed crayons on the ground.  My classroom floor resembles a Rainbow Bright murder scene by the conclusion of each school day.

You may be thinking, "Wow, doesn't she have better classroom management than that?"  Oh, no.  Please don't fool yourselves.  Crayon Chaos ensues in the microsecond that I turn to speak with a student on the opposite side of the room, when I stop to collect a love letter (I use the phrase 'love' lightly in middle school romance), or when I, um, well, you know....TEACH.  I reached my wits end, after multiple warnings---including letting the 'crazy lady' come out, much to the enjoyment of my students---but not yet zeroing down the culprits to less than about a dozen potential suspects, when one of the sweetest female students in my charge approached me for help with a concept - totally ignorant of the fact that she had a shard of Raw Sienna stuck in her gorgeous hair.  That's it.  The Crayon War must arrive at a cease fire before someone loses an eye, kids.

Insert the magic of www.remind101.com.  Teachers, if you're not already using this delicious tool, you are missing out.  It's become an integral part of my daily routine.  Take a gander at the website if you're unfamiliar with the free and 100% private reminder program that has made my work life infinitely simpler in some ways.  Back to the Raw Sienna incident, I sent a Remind 101 notice that same day, prompting students to study for an upcoming quiz, and included in the note:  "Dear Crayon Quarterbacks, I know* who you are and I will contact your parents if it continues."  Voila!  Poof.  Eureka.  Success.  All is right with the world again.  There are no longer crayons on the ground.

*I didn't.

In high school essay news, one of my colleagues reported to me, in case any of us were unaware - sit down for this teachers, it could be the shock of your careers thus far - that she was edified by the below sentence included in an assignment that a student submitted:

"It is a little white lie when students say, 'I have it done but my USB is at home.  I can bring it tomorrow.'"

Lastly, in commerce news, one of my dear friends who works for JC Penney shared with me a discount opportunity that you may wish to take advantage of this weekend.  In her words, "share with all your friends to convince them that JCP is cool and awesome now."  The link to the Friends and Family coupon is below, but let me know if it does not generate for you and I'll happily send you the email from my friend.  I do also have to mention, based on what I've seen my friends purchase recently from their varied department store sections, JCP is cool and awesome now, and the prices are even Heather-friendly.

http://f.jcpenneyem.com/i/34/626255242/JCP_FriendsandFamily_Coupon.jpg

Corn Flake Casserole

(It's better than you'd suspect.)

Post-Thanksgiving and vacation week blur!

I enjoyed a spectacular week away from school and with loved ones.  The doggies have also been thankful for the arrival of fall weather in Texas.

My week began with a jaunt east to one of my favorite small cities - Charleston, SC.  How I adore the palmetto state!  Charley worked the Charleston Classic basketball tourney, and I played.  We spotted Bill Murray at one of the Chuck Town games, but he didn't volunteer any details of that mysterious ear whisper he gave ScarJo in Lost In Translation.  From SC, we road tripped to Savannah, GA - a MUST return-to-town on my list of get-to-know locales.  The history!  The charm!  The culture!  The food! Onward, we parked in Orlando, FL, where Charley headed up another fall tourney, The Old Spice Classic.  Though I'm American, I freely admit that I'm no fan of Orlando, and even Disney (where The Old Spice Classic is nested) being the fine institution of resort excellence that it is, I've simply never been bitten by the mouse bug.  My grandparents took me to Disney when I was a child, and while I greatly appreciated the experience they provided me, I remembered thinking, even as a 13 year old, "huh, ok."  I suppose I'm more of a Dogpatch, USA kinda gal.  Silver Dollar City, anyone?  Dollywood?  I regret that while in Orlando, Charley's three week work on the road (including a fantastically executed basketball event in Germany - think:  Air Force hangar transformed into a basketball court) extravaganza illness germs caught up with me, too, and I missed out on meeting up with the always precious A. Thomas family at Universal Studios.  Walking like a hooker in Charleston and Savannah played a toll on my near-concluding appendix removal recovery and I laid low a day or two to prevent any other organs from squirting out of my incisions.  

Despite my feelings about Orlando and Disney, I do want to take my niece there at some point to provide her with that classic childhood experience.  Speaking of that little cheddar bite, here she is doing what she does best - being utterly charming:

Back in Tejas, I spent a glorious few days in east Texas, mostly lounging around in pajamas.  Life doesn't get much better, folks.  Mudda fed us well, and we accomplished nothing other than sleep and laughs.  Bentley is still a bit unsure about my niece since he probably harbors memories of her digging tunnels through his food bowl, so there was a small scuffle between the two of them, and now Maggie is a wee bit skeptical of Grace.  My theory is that Grace's voice is even higher pitched (read:  loud) than mine, and Maggie isn't so sure that the seven year old isn't out to steal her canine soul.  Here are the two of them, both intent on sitting in my chair:

The fall in a public school that is on a semester schedule is bittersweet in some ways.  The anticipation of long breaks is so tasty and 100% warranted given the breakneck pace that is demanded during the start up months.  Yet, we educators know that with the passage of the new year, the spring semester trudges on like a line at the driver's license renewal office.  This perspective convinces me, mostly, that I'd be a prime candidate for year-round school.  I suspect the student brain would benefit, too.  Learn for a few weeks, break for a bit, repeat.  The majority of our nation isn't agrarian now, so the traditional school year schedule is not the only option any longer for many children.  In southwestern states, however, it'll likely never happen unless electricity miraculously emerges as a free commodity, though.  Texas schools in particular save, literally, millions of dollars in utility costs by being non-operative most of the summer months.

Back to Thanksgiving, though:

In homage to a season of family portraits, I give you a list of tips that a mother provided for professional photos attempted with family children:  Check your expectations at the door and go with it...

My 120 dollar lesson

To every action there is always opposed an equal reaction. ---Sir Isaac Newton

In the lead up to the most recent ma-juh test administered to my students, physics...no less, my colleagues and I - reeling from abysmal data results accumulated after the prior ma-juh test (chemistry - with which they mostly had NONE), we I concocted the <at the time> brilliantly clever idea to offer students an incentive to perform at a more successful level on the physics test.  The chemistry results were so abysmal that my lackluster goal for physics was "CAN WE JUST GET THEM TO PASS FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, MARY, AND ALL THAT'S GLUTEN-FREE?!"  So, the bar was set low and those students that met the bar were offered pizza as an incentive.  Paid for by yours truly and my two teammates.  Pizza, for adolescents, apparently, is a more effective motivator than a home alarm siren for a hamburgler.  The number of students who met our incentive was exponentially higher than we anticipated, not to mention what our pocket books predicted.  So the good news is that we helped our students achieve a taste of success and provided Pizza Patron with an order of 35 large-Marge pizzas.  

Unrelated in news, kids, is this read that is wholly suitable for our upcoming season of gifting and cooking:  (mind the language peppered throughout, and, if easily offended - DO NOT click)  The Hater's Guide to Williams Sonoma

Also, if you should find yourself with the expression shown in this photo* between now and Dec. 24, it's probably time to scale back the shopping and uncork a bottle of vino with friends and family:

*MWJ, thank you for sharing!

A rant, then a raccoon

It's utterly dumbfounding to me that many of the kids I teach are not more saddled with troubles and dysfunction than they already face.  Once I get to know some of their parents, the apple and the tree idiom cannot be more apropos.  I regret that no matter how dedicated the child's teachers are, some kids may not ever escape the lunacy they were born into.

And now, I ask you to meet Oscar, the Raccoon, and a very patient Beagle:

Click here, it's only 25 seconds

AppendixamousHalloweenous

This week, two events transpired, one of which is an annual observance that hasn't spoken to me since I was a child, and even then I only participated out of en mass prompting - Halloween, and the second event, taking place the day after Halloween, had me near giddy as to complete the process of extracting my worthless, unemployed, useless, no good for nothing, scoundrel of an appendix.  I am nicely resting at home under the watchful eye of Nurse Green and am equally thankful to my colleague Alexis for ensuring that the parade marches on in my classroom with a substitute teacher.  I've received some unsavory news from the sub teacher about conduct in a couple of my classes, including a mysterious incident involving the entrepreneurial mixing of vinegar and baking soda.  The shakedown investigation, complete with a single light bulb illuminating a metal table and my most skilled stink-eye, of that incident shall begin upon my return to work, ideally on Monday.  My abdomen is very tender and sore, but I've felt otherwise in tip top shape, despite quick to tire.  Char took me out yesterday to vote before the giant crowds balloon on Tuesday and I tuckered out after standing a bit, so my return to work will likely involve quite a bit of the ever-frowned-upon seated teacher position.

Even though Halloween doesn't set my hair afire, I do enjoy seeing photos of the little (and big) ones enjoying the ode to C₁₂H₂₂O_11.  

Here's my kindred spirit niece digging into her own pumpkin for carving:

Cousin Bekah & Chet:

Second cousins Olivia & Julia:

Sugar Apocalypse:

Canine Cousins Ellie & Lucky Luke (aka:  Rufferee):

And a few more jewels:

                                             

My favorite costumes of my childhood Halloweens were:  Pink Panther, one half of a pair of dice, the er, "character" that is seen in my blog photo, and a vampire (I already have the built in widow's peak).  All of those were compliments of a creative Mother on a strict budget.  This year was no different in years past in that I don't "do" Halloween, but I did have this multi-thousand dollar bracelet:

I spoke too soon

Surgery delayed at least one week due to unresolved inflammation of the appi.  This is my expression today: