Do not quarrel with a goat

Or he will spit at you.  This one and a half minute clip is pure glory, and I trust that no goats were harmed during the making of this gift: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zzctPPkUPkk&sns=em

Coming soon to a basketball arena near you, a dunking otter: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJTRCtwf_X0&feature=youtu.be

Wanna see Michelle Obama dougie with Jimmy Fallon?  You do:  http://www.latenightwithjimmyfallon.com/blogs/2013/02/evolution-of-mom-dancing-w-jimmy-fallon-michelle-obama/

***do not read further if you are offended by the crude term for cow manure and/or you have youngsters nearby***

I succeeded  mostly succeeded in refraining from Peppermint Patty Laughing at this image a student showed me - outside of school hours - that was saved in her iPad camera roll:  

I heartily encouraged her to never open that gem at school.  Ever.  Again.

For my friends interested in United States public education (like how I popped this in here, eh?), which I direly hope is ALL of you, this testimony by an educator is worth all 7 minutes, and a smidgen, of your time.  It's a textbook example of  why our country's immigration system demands the overhauling that the overwhelming majority of citizens and non-citizens demand, albeit for varied reasons.  No matter the political or social label you may have assigned yourself, I'm gonna hazard a guess that rare is the one of us who supports the cow manure logic notion that a child brought to our country under the wing of his parent(s) - who are 99% likely to be doing so in hopes of cultivating a better home and future for their children - should be educated, as is compulsorily required and rightly offered to children in the US, and then tossed back to a country they've never 'known' as a result of a stiffer consequence that some of the most degenerative criminals do not even face.  I'm no economic oracle of expertise, but I'm going to traipse delicately onto a flimsy limb here and suspect that this is not a sound return on our taxpayer <and social> investment.  Creating a legal reasonable pathway for children educated in our country, to become citizens and enable them the opportunity to contribute to society, is, plain vanilla, simply the right thing to do:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3o7Jc7dZzio&feature=em-subs_digest

A legal and reasonable pathway to citizenship for US educated children not your cup of iced tea?  Contact your federal representative.  I hear they make lots of important things happen up there.  <snort>

The non-fire fire drill

Riddle me this.  Can 1000 sixth, seventh, and eighth graders assume silence for more than 1.5 seconds?  Allow me to revise that query.  Can 1000 sixth, seventh, and eighth graders assume silence, simultaneously, in a confined space - say, on a football field, for more than 1.5 seconds?  

While I realize with great confidence that people of all ages will - by virtue of the most basic human desire to succeed - live up to the expectations placed before them, no matter the great height of the challenge, this does not apply in the scenario described above.  If you say 'it does too' (probably in a high pitched, whiny, argumentative voice), I say:  "You're so adorable."

Our campus has a pint-sized staff of capable and hard working custodians, but even they are human.  Insert a misstep of some type or, a defective, indoor fire sprinkler (which would have no relation to whether our superhuman custodians are indeed human, after all).  Couple that misstep or defective sprinkler with a remaining 50 minutes of school day on a Thursday afternoon and you have, my friends, the equivalent of herding cats who have just sniffed their first taste of cat-nip after being sequestered all day with 999 other cats inside a school campus.  

Flash forward, and aforementioned 1000 middle school students with their frazzled teachers are moved, en masse**, to the campus football field.  Mind you, none of us, even the adults, knew precisely what's precipitated (PUNTASTIC) this evacuation, and we knew not of a scheduled fire drill.  Roughly 30 minutes later - insert your most far fetched mental image of emotional torture - we discover the cause:  busted sprinkler + intense campus flooding + fire department summons = evacuation and (this is the piece de resistance) a restriction on students returning to the building to collect their lives*** that same afternoon, until the muck had been sucked from the hallways, a process not expected to conclude until the evening or 
overnight hours.  ***I meant to say, backpacks, cell phones, money (perhaps), house keys (likely in many cases), Chapstick, love letters, hate letters, and - gasp, say it ain't so - school supplies.  It was a wise decision made with student safety at the forefront.  But, was it merely my imagination, or was this the facial expression on student faces when they were notified of their afternoon fate?  I think not.  I've seen enough horror movies to recognize danger when presented before me:

Before you're alarmed, our students do not wear loin cloths.  It's not considered uniform dress on our campus.  But this does remind me that I've yet to read or see Lord of the Flies.

**Why do I feel compelled to use the 'e' after that term?  Does anyone know?

Hunker down!

No, don't.  Many of you know my feelings toward that phrase.  Bunker down, people!  Bundle up, stay warm and safe; particularly Charley's east coast family and my cousin E along with her to-be-betrothed.

Despite my appreciation for said cousin's professional acumen, this - as all things Jimmy Fallon - Jimmy Fallon Friday Thank You Note bit elicited a Peppermint Patty Laugh:

Admit it, you feel it, too.

Ever roll up to the crib, and the most recent song playing in the AM/FM Universe sticks in your head like Velcro?  So you bust on in the house singing it loud and proud?  Surprised when nobody in the house can hear the same tune you hear?  Fortunately, for me, it's par for course that the poorly trilled tunes of my cranial soundtrack are good-naturedly received by the unwitting household recipients.  Today, this tune (Just click here, you won't regret it) was my grand entrance theme song - but ain't a soul was in the domicile to benefit from it aside from two furry, four-legged babes, who just wanted their dang dry meal dinners.

Bless you, Charley (Brown), you're a good man.

Bullhorn

I have thus far unsuccessfully convinced anyone in my immediate circle to purchase a bullhorn (the sort that requires batteries - so you know it's real good and potent) for me - both of which would be immediately employed in my classroom.  It's true, professionals that publicly speak (oftentimes obnoxiously loudly) all day as a part of their job responsibilities suffer from 'down in the throat' frowny face on a routine basis.  To boot, I (along with my department colleagues) teach in spaces that are cavernous, complete with 56 foot ceilings.

, but close.

But really, I beg of those who love me, the bullhorn would not be a frivolous addition to my education toolbox.

Speaking of (punny/she points out her puns), here are a few items that have spoken (again with the punnies!) to me recently:

Me: "****, keep your laughter focused on appropriate school content."
****'s Classmate: "I assure you if he's laughing, it's inappropriate."

Kids of all ages are witty, smart, and refreshingly insightful.  Just listen.

Encore: Student response to me issuing an at-large, verbal "stop," --> "Hammer time!"

A photo of my colleague's shoes after a day at work:

To be fair, this colleague is expecting a bundle of pooping and milk drinking joy soon, so likely (and justifiably)  has very little interest in where she may step during her day.  But, as I know she would agree, in the sage words of Ice Cube:  "...you knew the job was dangerous when you took it."  

Lastly, these two quotes speak to me on personal and professional levels:

                             

I adore the sillies.

A case of the sillies, silly people of any age, silly for the sake of being silly.  Sillything!

The two weeks post-Christmas and winter break at work have been hair curling.  I rarely feel I've had a legitimately "bad day," as my personal definition of a bad day is along the lines of Lance Armstrong's self-defined "75 million dollar day," December 14, 2012, or any of the examples listed in this link (assuming they are all factual).  So instead, the past two weeks at work have been hair curling.  Significant numbers of students in my classes are demonstrating conduct that I don't typically observe until the week leading up to spring break, or the month leading up to summer break.  Maybe it's simply my perception, or maybe there was more than a 'few hours' of "contaminated" water funneled into the city water system as was reported on a date in December.  On top of zany and trying student behavior, the spring semester in an agrarian styled school year is always, for most if not all educators, the more challenging one, in all respects.  Deadlines loom - and are suddenly more real, breaks are fewer in number, illness spreads quicker than really juicy gossip, and preparation for high stakes state testing pressure kicks into overdrive.  As my friend Jamie commented recently about another topic, however, as a certain curly-haired red-headed orphan proclaimed, the sun does indeed come out tomorrow.  Or whenever you choose to see it.

In a string of long days made longer by evening meetings and events, I witnessed and possibly participated in some acts of extraordinary silly:

I have yet to personally view the Gangnam Style YouTube explosion, but after a display of 75-100 middle school students at an academic competition, I'm confident I've experienced it in a way that leaves not a stitch to be desired.  As a means of keeping students entertained while they awaited competition score announcements, the master of ceremonies periodically played top 40 tunes, especially ones accompanied by specific dance moves.  Insert Gangnam Style.  I've rarely seen such dedication and focus on the part of a mob of middle school kids; the facial expressions alone were enough to motivate me to learn the moves.  I wish I could share video, but blurring out of 75-100 faces is beyond my technological patience limit.  I was bleary-eyed with tears of laughter - to see such authentic fun being had - by the time several students took a breather, faces bathed in perspiration from their effort.

I was without choice when another song played - I am bad with titles, but it involved some stomping and clapping and pausing and salsa-ing - and my principal along with a few other teachers, including me, were thrown into the mix.  There is reportedly video evidence of our participation, but it too would entail the blurring out of 75-100 student faces.  Ain't nobody got time for that.

In a fortune of all fortunes, I ended my workweek on a Friday that led into our three day weekend by providing "adult" supervision on a field trip to our city's newest science museum.  It truly is as remarkable as you may have heard, if you're reading this post in said city/region.  Students from underprivileged backgrounds are normally so grateful to be afforded extracurricular opportunities like this, that conduct on outings is always positive and, frankly, overwhelmingly delightful.  This field trip was no different but I am sadly 99% confident that there are several student shot videos, posted on their own social media sites, that contain footage of me and my colleagues demonstrating poor examples of adult conduct while leading impressionable minds.  What can I say...exhibits like classroom-sized LED sensory walls are obviously more fun when you drag your backside across the vertical surface from one end to the other.  At adult prompting, one of our more genius and comical students "raced" T-Rex with his arms/hands appropriately elevated and angled.  There's video of that, but, well, you know...  And although this disturbed my Mudda and sounds like a Jodi Foster movie opener, one of my students asked* me for a strand of my hair while we were en route 'home,' on the yellow dog.  Perhaps I'm creepy because I didn't find this creepy**, but instead absurdly funny.  I like the silly.

Today I participated with a small group of students and colleagues in the local MLK celebration parade. Once again, I'm reminded of the question that can never be answered:  "Why, OH WHY, was I never in the drum line?"  Pity.  Drum lines are bangin'!  (you catch that, eh?)

In homage to inauguration weekend, I'll share some photos of past inaugurations that you may find fairly cute, too:

http://www.npr.org/blogs/itsallpolitics/2013/01/19/168570312/inaugural-hijinks-10-odd-photos-from-ceremonies-past

*I declined his request.

**I have since learned that my hair requesting student is reportedly collecting (by request) strands of hair from varied subjects.  Ok, possibly that does cross the silly zone into the creepy zone.  But, as long as he doesn't intend to knit a sweater from his collection, it still makes me laugh.  Because I'm silly.

Rewind and unwind

Disclaimer:  wonky formatting about halfway through this post strikes again.

Rewind:

My high school class enjoyed our 20th reunion in October and it was a smashing success.  Everyone spent quality time with some, caught up with others, and enjoyed buckets and buckets of Peppermint Patty Laughs.  Char and I were sadly too late entering town to attend the homecoming football game - blasted 'leaving the city on a Friday evening' traffic!  We met up with classmates in old town for some cheer after the football game.  Our little hometown has, while not grown in population significantly enough to note - and I actually appreciate that, expanded by way of restaurants, hang outs, art, and festivals, etc.  I do wish we were closer in proximity to visit more often.  Jeez, I really miss the trees. (the vegetative ones, there aren't too many extremely tall people that I can recall)

The Saturday evening social was hosted at http://www.saborapasion.com/ and I don't think there was a disappointed guest in the house.  Charley and I, along with our fur kids, lodged at the venue since we were early birds and reserved one of the two guest rooms available.  The atmosphere was charming, the food was delicious, and Simon's (the proprietor) guest service could not have been more accommodating.  Charley and will return as guests again, without a doubt.

So many classmates pulled together in varied ways to make the event successful and we can't wait for the next reunion!

Comic time-out:  I will make sure that future excursions to the kuntry with both Charley and I are accomplished with me at the wheel once we hit the county line.  His Philadelphia aggressive, lead foot didn't jive with the need to decrease speed, roll down the window, and scan the mostly obscure and low reflection CR and FM signs.  I had to laugh at his third or fourth exclamation of, "How are you supposed to read these signs?!"

Here are just a couple of snaps from the night that I've managed to put my claws on:

Unwind:  school's winter and Christmas break has been as satisfying as always.  It's been a nice mix of rest, sleep - a LOT of sleep, reading - a LOT of reading, a bit of travel, quite a bit of indoor-inducing cold North Texas weather, visiting with Charley's delightful family on the east coast, and enjoying time with my Mom and niece in east Texas.  

I realized today, as I do at the tail end of many school breaks, that I don't dread in any way my return to the real world.  "If you love what you do, you'll never work a day in your life."  I'll refrain from assigning an author to that quote since my only resource to confirm the attribution is Google.  Or Facebook.  Everything is true there, right?  Snort.