Dear Appendix

Dear Appendix, 

I've looked your "itis" in the eye, seen darkness & now light. You are a worthless, unemployed, lacking skills organ that siphons the energy off of the other members of Organville. Thanks to talented hospital staff & many caring friends, I'm almost back to 100% strength and return to work tomorrow. Prepare, kids, and please be kind to me; for at least the first few days. 
Sincerely, Appendix Hater 
PS - appendix, we have not forgotten about you. When you're sans infection and anger, my surgeon is delivering your eviction papers. I cannot say that I'll miss you, but I bid you safe travels when you're removed & embarked upon the biohazard trail. Get along, you do-nothing-doggy.