The reality is that only one facet of the fictional world I just described is truth: we do experience frequent moments of victory, both small and large. We also experience real life, real gross, real gassy problems.
Several years ago I had a conversation with a school nurse about a periodic problem that arises with adolescents, a problem known as Frequent and Intentional Flatulence. She taught me what has been my go-to gas containment strategy for those scholars of mine who simply cannot avoid the joy they bring themselves (and some of their cohorts) by eliciting collective gasps, guffaws, and gags. Moses himself would have been proud of some of the row parting skills demonstrated by victims of Frequent and Intentional Flatulence. Thanks to my go-to, never-fail strategy the nurse taught me, however, I've all but eliminated this issue in my domain.
Recently, though, I had to visit the strategy, which goes something like this:
"Scholar XYZ, you seem to be experiencing trouble managing your bodily functions. I realize that must be uncomfortable for you. If the trouble persists, I will have no option - in the interest of your health, but to refer you to the campus nurse. She will triage you to determine if you may have a gastrointestinal problem that should be addressed by a physician. The nurse will then refer your parents to a suitable digestive specialist."
Several females in the class period stood up and applauded. So, Laura, school nurse now living in the great white north, you should know that your advice was and still is brilliantly effective.
Carry on.
Greatness.
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