My 120 dollar lesson

To every action there is always opposed an equal reaction. ---Sir Isaac Newton

In the lead up to the most recent ma-juh test administered to my students, physics...no less, my colleagues and I - reeling from abysmal data results accumulated after the prior ma-juh test (chemistry - with which they mostly had NONE), we I concocted the <at the time> brilliantly clever idea to offer students an incentive to perform at a more successful level on the physics test.  The chemistry results were so abysmal that my lackluster goal for physics was "CAN WE JUST GET THEM TO PASS FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, MARY, AND ALL THAT'S GLUTEN-FREE?!"  So, the bar was set low and those students that met the bar were offered pizza as an incentive.  Paid for by yours truly and my two teammates.  Pizza, for adolescents, apparently, is a more effective motivator than a home alarm siren for a hamburgler.  The number of students who met our incentive was exponentially higher than we anticipated, not to mention what our pocket books predicted.  So the good news is that we helped our students achieve a taste of success and provided Pizza Patron with an order of 35 large-Marge pizzas.  

Unrelated in news, kids, is this read that is wholly suitable for our upcoming season of gifting and cooking:  (mind the language peppered throughout, and, if easily offended - DO NOT click)  The Hater's Guide to Williams Sonoma

Also, if you should find yourself with the expression shown in this photo* between now and Dec. 24, it's probably time to scale back the shopping and uncork a bottle of vino with friends and family:

*MWJ, thank you for sharing!

A rant, then a raccoon

It's utterly dumbfounding to me that many of the kids I teach are not more saddled with troubles and dysfunction than they already face.  Once I get to know some of their parents, the apple and the tree idiom cannot be more apropos.  I regret that no matter how dedicated the child's teachers are, some kids may not ever escape the lunacy they were born into.

And now, I ask you to meet Oscar, the Raccoon, and a very patient Beagle:

Click here, it's only 25 seconds

AppendixamousHalloweenous

This week, two events transpired, one of which is an annual observance that hasn't spoken to me since I was a child, and even then I only participated out of en mass prompting - Halloween, and the second event, taking place the day after Halloween, had me near giddy as to complete the process of extracting my worthless, unemployed, useless, no good for nothing, scoundrel of an appendix.  I am nicely resting at home under the watchful eye of Nurse Green and am equally thankful to my colleague Alexis for ensuring that the parade marches on in my classroom with a substitute teacher.  I've received some unsavory news from the sub teacher about conduct in a couple of my classes, including a mysterious incident involving the entrepreneurial mixing of vinegar and baking soda.  The shakedown investigation, complete with a single light bulb illuminating a metal table and my most skilled stink-eye, of that incident shall begin upon my return to work, ideally on Monday.  My abdomen is very tender and sore, but I've felt otherwise in tip top shape, despite quick to tire.  Char took me out yesterday to vote before the giant crowds balloon on Tuesday and I tuckered out after standing a bit, so my return to work will likely involve quite a bit of the ever-frowned-upon seated teacher position.

Even though Halloween doesn't set my hair afire, I do enjoy seeing photos of the little (and big) ones enjoying the ode to C₁₂H₂₂O_11.  

Here's my kindred spirit niece digging into her own pumpkin for carving:

Cousin Bekah & Chet:

Second cousins Olivia & Julia:

Sugar Apocalypse:

Canine Cousins Ellie & Lucky Luke (aka:  Rufferee):

And a few more jewels:

                                             

My favorite costumes of my childhood Halloweens were:  Pink Panther, one half of a pair of dice, the er, "character" that is seen in my blog photo, and a vampire (I already have the built in widow's peak).  All of those were compliments of a creative Mother on a strict budget.  This year was no different in years past in that I don't "do" Halloween, but I did have this multi-thousand dollar bracelet:

I spoke too soon

Surgery delayed at least one week due to unresolved inflammation of the appi.  This is my expression today:

Eviction Day

'Tis the week when my unemployed appendix shall meet the scalpel.  It's going to be a Tony The Tiger Great week!  Thursday, to be precise.

Whipped Glory

Dry skin, you say?  Ashy knees and elbows?  Feet encapsulated in cement-like layers?

Do I have the solution for you!  My dear friend whips up - literally - an amazing concoction that elicits smiles and sighs from my derm.  Here she is, below, with some of the ingredients, whipping up a new batch of lotion love.  Gather ye dollars as there will be adorably packaged quantities available for sale soon.  Optional scents include:  lavender, tea tree, almond.  Possibly chicken spaghetti scent, as well.  I mean nutmeg.  *Freudian-ish slip while eating.*



                                                       

And we have peppahs!

(plus basil, oregano, mint, and rosemary)